Saturday, March 10, 2007

Checking my back

I caught the end of this bit Ellen DeGeneres did one time. She apparently met God and was having a lovely chat. She remembered a time in her life, where she was walking on the beach and felt everything was going so terribly wrong and life was so hard and just felt so particularly alone, and she asked God, "Where were you then?" God then asked Ellen if she noticed her footprints in the sand and that there was only one set of footprints. She did notice. God then said, "Well, I was on your back."
Lent is supposed to be a time of drawing nearer to God, but lately - and I hope I'm not being a bad Catholic for saying this - but I've been wondering where He went. I don't for a moment doubt my faith, but really, there are some times in life where it just feels like He's not answering, or I just can't hear Him or something.
It's been a tumultuous year to say the least and it looks like the end isn't anywhere in sight. And that's ok. I don't mind. I'm just looking for a little affirmation. But maybe that's what God is asking of me; to be open and follow Him without affirmation (at least the kind of affirmation that I'm looking for). It's easy to trust if you've got a green light. Maybe God is asking me to trust when it's really not so easy at all. Probably. But darn it's hard.

3 comments:

lisabean said...

I know how you feel. I sometimes feel so busy with kids that I don't feel connected to God, like I use to. But maybe it's a different way of being connected to God through our children.

Floaty said...

When child, one boy had many toys, I would to love play at his house. I still not know if I really this was Boy's friend or just played to his toys.

Maybe God let you to find out you really love Him, not to his "affirmations"

Scruffy McGee said...

Dag, Floater!