Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Home of One's Own

What is it in us that desires a home of our own? I've chalked up my dreams of 'home' as simply the interior decorator in me wanting a more permanent pallet, but I think it goes deeper than that. One of John's favorite things to do is to build houses. Out of blocks, out of sheets - doesn't matter, he wants a little space of his own. I too want a space of my own. We're approaching the end of our lease and have to find a new home. Whether we will buy or rent is uncertain. We have, at least, finalized that we will be staying here in PA. Daniel got the assistantship and will get free tuition and a stipend. You have to be pretty cool to have someone pay you to go to school. I'm so proud of him. It's tricky though, one aspect of our lives gets nailed down, but now so much else seems so uncertain. I guess my desire for a home is really a desire for some permanence and stability in our lives. You could even say that it goes deeper than that. That maybe it's ultimately a symbolic manifestation of my desire for our permanent 'home', which is heaven. You could say that. But really, in the mean time, even though I really do want to go to heaven, I'd like some walls that I could maybe paint any color that I would like. I want to put nail holes in the wall and not worry about my deposit. I'd like to walk through my door and know that it's mine. In the greater scheme of things, I guess we're all 'renters', no matter whether we buy or lease. We can't take it with us. But I sure would like the freedom to make it pretty while I use it.

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